T.I.P.S.

The word tips, in the context we in the service industry love it most, started out as an acronym meaning "To Insure Prompt Service," and, though the custom has been around since the 17th century, the name is a throwback to the tea party days of American history, when the gussied up ladies of the tea would toss a coin or two to the tea server...to insure prompt service. There were actually wooden boxes set up at each table labeled with the acronym T.I.P.S. for the coins to be placed in, much like what is seen at most line service restaurants today.

Or I made all of that up, because darn it all if I can find anything to back that up. Either way, it sounds good, right? That's not really why I'm bringing up tips anyways, though the extra change here and there is very, very appreciated. This post is for me to give you tips...on how to insure prompt, and professional, service.

-If you don't know what you want, don't be afraid to ask us for help.
I am never, ever annoyed by someone asking me for a recommendation, and I don't mean just asking me if that vanilla bean thing is good. Customers that indicate to me that it's their first time there or that they want my opinion on the best drink there usually get the best service out of all the customers I serve. We love showing off, and I can guarantee that we're the best people to ask to point you in the direction of what you need and what you like. Plus, I'm way happier about remaking a drink that I recommended for you than adding touch-ups to a drink you don't like but ordered based on menu-board description. (*cough*carameleffingmacchiato*cough*)

-Put down your cell phone.
No seriously. Put it down. Put it away. Put it up for sale on EBay. I have no idea why people still do this, it's the epitome of rudeness at the register. How upset would you be at me if I had my cell phone glued to my ear during your transaction? If I was so engrossed in my conversation I didn't even bother to greet you kindly, or speak to you at all, really. You'd be pissed, I'd be given a write up, and nobody, nobody would forgive me. So what gives you the right? What's so difficult about standing off to the side until your call is finished? Or telling the person on the other end to hold on a sec? I've had more people in line apologize to the person they are on the phone with than people who apologize to me. I've had regulars who consistantly come in, every single time, on their cell phone, and probably wondering why we're never nice to them and why we can never remember their drink.

-Provide all of the details at the register.
The barista at the register is not just there to steal your money. Their job is also to translate your order into a form of shorthand that the barista at the bar can quickly read so that they can immediately begin the preparation of your drink. It's a beautiful system that has served Starbucks very well for decades and enables us to get drinks in and out of line as quickly as possible, and when you wait until you get to the end of the line to tell us to make it decaf and skim, you've completely derailed it, and we hate you.

-Make it easy to remember you (but in a good way).
We have great memories, we do. For the most part, if you’ve come in more than once while I was working, I can remember something about you, though it some cases it may not be flattering. For those of my customers who are nice, and friendly, or have memorable drinks, places of employment, names, stories, or kids and pets, they get the best of my best, they get first treatment, and we’ll usually discuss you fondly and make sure that all of the new employees know you too. But if you come in, and refuse to acknowledge that we’ve met before, and aren’t friendly, and order something cut and paste from the menu board, well, you get a nickname at best. And just ask Baby Thief or Angry Guy that Gets a Mocha--they usually aren’t flattering. (Note--Baby Thief might not actually steal babies. She just looks like she might.)

-Don't assume we have anything more to do with the inner workings of Starbucks beyond getting you correct change and your beverage in a timely manner.
I didn't price these drinks. I didn't name these drinks. I didn't choose size names, or what drinks get the kibosh, or when we serve pumpkin spice, or what secret blends of herbs and spices make up our coffees. I don't really care what you think about any of these, and I have even less power than you to get it changed to what you want. And I'm very, very hurt that you think I look like Howard Shultz.

pictured: not me

-Don't assume that we can read your mind, or that all baristas employ a hive mind ability
Shockingly enough, if you don't tell us you want it made iced, we don't make your drink iced. We won't know that if you don't tell us even if that one girl made it for you like that yesterday, or if they allllways do it like that at "your" Starbucks. It doesn't matter if you know exactly what you're thinking of, you need to tell us, out loud, and in a way that we can understand.


-Don't be an asshole.
I wish this wasn't something I had to address, and I could leave it off to the side along with "always wear clothes" and "don't punch me in the head," but just this weekend we had a man refuse to finish his order until we said "medium" instead of grande, and refused again at the window to take his frappuccino until we called it a "medium." And then there were the guys who tipped us with a half-full Big Gulp of cherry slushie. Just...be as nice to us as it is possible for you at that moment to be. Unless you have a personal issue with me, I have done nothing to you, so why are you going out of your way to be as unpleasant as possible? This type of person doesn‘t even give us a chance to give good service.

-If you make an error, apologize.
If we make an error, we usually almost throw up from apologizing so hard. When you make an error, you usually blame us. Even if you assumed we could read your mind, or didn’t put in the details of your drink until the end of the bar, or were an asshole. I’ll forgive anything if you just say sorry, and believe me, if you mess up and we know it and you look at us like it’s our fault…you’re still not getting a free drink coupon. Sorry bubs, thems the rules.

-And finally, bring us cookies.
We love cookies. We’ll make your drinks the best ever if you bring us cookies. Mmm, cookies. Chocolate chip for preference, though I won’t say no to a good oatmeal raisin.