For Those Picky Drinkers

In an environment where food is sold, nothing becomes clearer than the specific gastrointestinal needs of every single human being out there. Luckily, working at a chain that sells a very specified product makes it much easier to find something you need and like rather than, say, next door at Five Guys.


Unfortunately, a lot of people don't understand just how customizable everything we have is. (Unfortunately, some people also assume that we're a lot more customizable than we are. No, we don't have light whipped cream, ma'am.)Starbucks has spent a lot of time and money in making sure that there is something in our store for everybody, but a lot of folks out there are too intimidated to ask us what all we can do for them.

Therefore, I am putting together a few common needs and what drinks fulfill them.

First off, here's a list of our flavors:
Vanilla, Hazelnut, Caramel, Cinnamon Dolce (like a cinnamon bun)(note: these four come in sugar-free), Toffee Nut, Raspberry, Classic (simple syrup) Mocha, White Mocha, Chai, and Green Tea (note: these last four are not technically in the same category as the others, and will cost extra when mixed with another flavor.)
At this point, it would be wisest to choose a flavor or flavor combination (for example, vanilla caramel) and just substitute your choice whenever it says "any flavor/syrup."

So you don't like coffee.
That's fine. A great deal of people in the world loathe the taste of coffee, and Starbucks would be a sad banana indeed if they cut these people out of their customer count, so there are many choices for you. You have your pick of our teas, for one, and the company has just rolled out a new full leaf version of them that come with more flavor and fancier bags, and some of them make a great latte. Personally, I'm drinking a three-pump-vanilla, three-pump-classic soy awake tea latte all winter.
If tea's not your thing, we've also got the creme Frappuccinos. The most common flavors are Strawberries n' Cream, Vanilla Bean (note: please specify either Vanilla Bean or Caffe Vanilla, our coffee flavor. Saying just "vanilla" will get you a lot of questioning from a testy barista), or Double Chocolatey Chip, but we can add in any syrup you want.
If a cold drink's no good, remember that the espresso does not come automatically attached to the cup, and that any latte can easily be made without it. We call these "steamers" or "cremes" or, in the case of mochas, "hot chocolates," but you can ask us for a vanilla latte without the coffee and we'll understand. And put whipped cream on it.

So you're lactose intolerant.
This is a common need, and for the most part sufferers know what they need to do--get it with soy. We can make all of our lattes with soy, either iced or hot, and if you're adding it to your coffee or americano, if it's under four ounces it's free of charge. Here again you also have your pick of the teas, hot or iced, and hot or iced coffees. But what if you want your drink frozen? Hey, no worries, we got smoothies. Our Vivanno smoothies are usually made with a whole banana, protein and fiber powder, 2% milk, and either strawberry, orange mango, or chocolate flavoring. You can sub soy for the milk, and leave out the protein (it's made with whey) and viola! Perfect for any of you who happen to be a little lactarded (is that offensive? if so, on how many levels?). Also frozen are our blended strawberry lemonades, which are muy perfecto in the Summer.

Finally, I'm going to let you in on a secret. We CAN make our Frappuccinos non-dairy. It's not recommended, as it is considered "cross-contamination" and then we have to waste like a whole 5 seconds getting a new, clean pitcher, but we can do them with. Even with a shot of espresso if you want coffee flavored.
Now, some baristas may give you trouble over this, but I'm going to give you the magic words that will smooth things over 9 times out of 10:
"They made it for me no problem at the last Starbucks I went to."
I'm going to get kicked in the head for divulging that secret, but if we feel like another Starbucks has let the cat out of the bag, then we'll feel guilty still keeping it from you. Use it carefully, though. It won't always work, and some of us have much stronger wills.

I think I'm going to save the rest for my next post. I feel like I've already got far too many novella sized blog posts, and this one would take the cake. So stay tuned!